Ok, so I think I have everything worked out to make an online multiplayer game, but the only problem is that no matter how I approach the method I will need to use Newgrounds SAVE_GROUP feature (or make a dedicated server...) and that is a pain!!

Basically to any developers I would have the following setup in the Save group

[SAVE_GROUP]\
\[USER].ipAddress = XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX
\[USER].isHosting = true/false
\[USER].language = XXXX
\[USER].port = XXXX

And if \[USER].isHosting is true than the following data would be added
\[USER]\SERVER\playersList = array (List of players in lobby)
\[USER]\SERVER\playersInLobby = number (Number of players in lobby)
\[USER]\SERVER\lobbySize = number (Max amount of players allowed in lobby)
\[USER]\SERVER\lobbyName = "LOBBY NAME"
\[USER]\SERVER\lobbyDesc = "This is the lobby description"

And finally in the overall server you would have
\lobbyList = array (list of all lobby's)
\lobbyOwner = array (list of the people who started/own the lobby selected)

So that when the person clicked 'Browse Multiplayer Lobby's', flash would check [SAVE_GROUP]\lobbyList to build the list of available lobby's, then you would get the people who own the lobby (by accessing the file at [SAVE_GROUP]\lobbyOwner) and then from there you would select the server and the server would check lobbyOwner and find the user that owns the server and you would then use XMLSocket to connect to [USER].ipAddress

Simple no?